I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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