I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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