I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
as a side note pls kill me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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