I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Still dying that you shit outside
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
