so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
