He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This can only be settled by a dance off.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
