I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
