I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
