he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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