Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize