as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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