I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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