I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You pole danced in your parka.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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