No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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