Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
