Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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