I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
