Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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