i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
