I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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