Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
