People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
