I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
