My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
