Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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