Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
