She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
