and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
