I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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