Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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