on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
