Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
