Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
