you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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