I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
