I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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