Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
