Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
