STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize