Its about making memories worth repressing
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
