You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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