oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
