I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
