Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it hurts more in the daytime
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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