Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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