omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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