Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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