you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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