And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
