I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
