have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
