Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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