im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Say something about gay babies.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
