I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
