im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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