I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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