there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?