so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?